Friday, June 27, 2008

the long and winding road (dum dum) to your......

Or more appropriately: the long and rambling blog post...

[This post started out on like Thursday and I'm just now getting around to finishing it up. I got side tracked with everything going on in my life, ah the chaos. I frequently remind myself though, it could be worse. Better chaos than nothing. Better to be surrounded by wonderful family and friends that keep me busy than to be lonely.]

I try very hard to be honest at all times and I'm a realist, sometimes to fault. I don’t pretend to be something I’m not. There is no “between the lines” with me, if I say something that's what I mean. You will find no hidden message if you play it backwards. That being said I will admit to a lot of gray areas. I'm entitled to change my mind
or plead the 5th or be wishy washy on certain things, but you'll know it, you won't have to guess, lol! (Republican today, democrat tomorrow!)

I'm also honest about my limitations. I'm able to admit what I can't do and I don't minimize what I can do just to elicit praise. Admitting my weaknesses hasn’t always been easy for me but as I get older I’ve found that just comes with being realistic about who you are. The experience I have has taught me it's easier to be who I am than who I am not. Even if I’m not entirely sure who that is some days. Lol!

This is who I am today: I’m a mother, I’m a wife, I'm a friend, I’m a photographer, I’m a good advice giver and a bad advice taker, I’m an optimist (even when I have to work at it). I am all of these things today but who knows about tomorrow. A few of those things may change. Some of those things may never change.

The following excerpt comes from Natalie’s blog. Some how she managed to say what I was feeling. Not surprising, as she has a way with words. Thanks Natty!

"After much thought, meditation and soul searching I have come to the conclusion that I am who I am and I can no longer feel guilty about that. When I think about the people I want to spend time with I do it because those people illicit something in me that makes me feel good. When it comes to what makes me happy, how I want to live my day to day life, what I see in my minds eye for myself in the future...I find I surround myself with people who inspire me. People who are driven, passionate and people who are caring and loving and people who are true to themselves and God and people who aren't afraid to take a chance on faith and karma and believing in something greater than themselves. These kinds of people are my people and I don't want to lessen their involvement in my life, in fact, I have to increase their involvement in my life.

I truly believe that everything we do, everything that happens to us, everything that we are is for a reason and not just a chance fluke. I believe everyone who comes into my life, weather they come for a brief moment, stay for a long while or go, came into my life for a specific purpose and has fulfilled or is fulfilling their purpose for me as I am fulfilling it for them.

I guess this means that I then also have to accept that it doesn't always end in a 'happy ending'... but that's the beauty of it...I am who I am because it always hasn't."



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